Guest blog: Wherein Jean Puts Down "The Great Gatsby" and Watches Some Baseball

On the first of May, my friend, Jean S. joined me for the Yankees v. Astros game. We skipped our Grandstand seats to sit in available left-field Terrace seats, having found an unguarded section and rows and rows of seats without butts. 

Jean, being a baseball newbie, asked a lot of questions, including if she could guest blog on YBG.

Below are the top five takeaways from the game, as written by Jean:

1. Canada only has one baseball team 

2. Jayson Nix has a brother named Laynce 

3. Joanna got into a fight with a bongo player on the 4 train. [ed: he is a horrible, horrible man who deserved to be arrested for harassment, panhandling and general assh*lery]

4. Papa Johns makes damn good pizza. [ed: LIES]

5. Innings are stupid. 

About Jean S.: Jean lives and works in New York City. Her experience with baseball involves one Mets game in high school (it rained, so we went home); and a Yankees game last summer, when she met Mariano Rivera. However she considers her outing with Jo, Yankees fan #1, to have been her true introduction to the sport.

Buzzfeed Stadium Food Post Is Lacking

Check it out at the link below, where they list the bucket of sliders and fries at Yankee Stadium as a top eat to spend your hard-earned cash on...

http://www.buzzfeed.com/danoshinsky/most-insane-stadium-foods-money-can-buy

Really? Those soggy sliders and even soggier French fries are a must-nosh? There's much better food to be had in the Stadium, including Nathan's dogs and cheese fries, Brother Jimmy's pulled pork, heck, even a slice of S'barro's pizza is a better choice. There are fancier selections at the stadium, like a Lobel's Steak Sandwich, freshly-rolled sushi, a mini Dylan's Candy Bar assortment or a massive turkey leg that will make you feel like a caveman.

On your next trip to the stadium, check out all the selections for Beers of the World to my go-to, a spicy Italian sausage with peppers, onions and French's mustard, but please, go ahead and skip the mush fest of sliders and fries.

Let's Take a Moment to Appreciate the Number 11

11 days until Yankees baseball and I am EVER so delighted that Brett Gardner is healthy and playing in the starting line up (knock on all the wood in the entire universe).

(Image/ME)

Here are some things (11 things) to do to pass the time over the next 11 days:

1. Watch preseason Yankees ball on YES, admire the cute uniforms sans Pinstripes

2. Plan to watch preseason ball, forget and go to see Tina Fey's new movie instead

3. Iron all of your Yankees shirts, fold neatly, admire your Gap-worthy folding skills

4. Place bets on who the starting catcher will be (DHAB is offering 2-1 on Cervelli)

5. Massage Mark Teixeira's wrist for him (and then report back, please)

6. Watch NBA basketball (as IF!)

7. Watch every Simpsons baseball episode, and the two Blernsball episodes of Futurama for good measure; learn Dancin' Homer's "Baby Elephant Walk" jig

Dance, Dancin' Homer, dance! (Image/FOX)

8. Watch the World Baseball Classic, cheer for Puerto Rico...oh, wait...

9. Buy a new baseball cap. Yours is looking a little worse for wear and frankly, after the way the Yankees ended last season, is probably ripe with bad juju

10. Stock up on bargain peanuts, cracker jacks

11. Spend time bidding all of your non-baseball-loving friends a happy spring, summer and fall. See you in November!

Los doce dias antes de el beisbol

I'm learning Spanish, okay?

There are twelve days before Yankees baseball kicks off. I have to work on the 1st (don't shoot the messenger, also my 10 days in Hawaii in May will make up for it) so I am missing the home opener but I will be there for the next game...

(Image/AP) Even though he's a Diamondback this year, I'll always love the view of Chavez's "12"

Your Daily Dose of TRUTH

(Image/Unknown, taken from The Chive)

18 DAYS!

The smell of summer

On days like theis, when it is snow and sleet and rain in Manhattan, a foot of snow predicted over the next twelve hours and baseball is still seven weeks away in this interminable winter, it is the little things that make me smile and think of the Stadium.

There is an Etsy vendor, Man Hands, who makes manly-scented soaps. One such soap is touted as smelling like a well-worn leather glove (Derek Jeter's right palm, anyone?).

(image/Man Hands via Etsy)


From the manufacturer: This is a dead-on leather scent that will bring back the childhood memories of that favorite baseball glove pressed up to your face ... 3 oz. bar

Other scents include "Red, Red Wine" and "Bacon" so I gotta say that this baseball girl would love to feminine her hands on some Man Hands. I'd also love to see "dead-on balls" used a little bit more in the product description, but I drop a Mona Lisa Vito from My Cousin Vinny quote at least once a day.

The soaps retail for $6.95 plus shipping and it might just get me through the next seven weeks without making an emergency trip to Tampa.

Five more months until 2013 MLB

All we can do is keep on dancing...



And maybe watch some football...